In terms of IMPACT!, I really am loving work at the moment. Having Maddy back has taken some pressure off so I feel a lot freer in what I'm doing, and am loving spending time with the youth and showing them how much I love them! They make me smile!
I led the second 'small groups' session on Sunday night, and it was the first talk I'd had to give to experienced/more mature questions...I forgot a lot of what I wanted to say in the nervousness of the situation but it went well and I was very encouraged by my amazing youth and equally amazing collegues...I'm SO BLESSED to be surrounded by so much love. Wow.
I also had a doctor's appointment yesterday - I had finally built up the courage to ask for more help with this, knowing that I'm reaching my limits in terms of experienced support and resources to keep moving forward...I've come SO far since this relapse, but in order to pursue complete recovery, I know that I need to be brave and ask for more specific help...
I went in to see the GP, managed to tell her everything. She calmly asked lots of questions and wrote down my answers, then essentially told me it was up to me to challenge my thought processes. She gave me a leaflet on mental health and said to come back in a month or so to track how I was doing...
I smiled and thanked her, but left upset, frustrated and triggered: I knew from the things she said that she just didn't understand. She'd read in textbooks and studied treatment pathways and looked at case studies, but none of that means that she knows what it's like to be in this position...and I'm not saying that every doctor has to have had an eating disorder to treat patients successfully, but I just knew that she had no idea what it feels like and couldn't understand what I was saying...and in a way I drew comfort from that. As frustrating as it was, it made me realise that if I were the one sitting on the other side of the desk, I'd know some of the right words to comfort; I'd see through a patient's bravado and know how much their struggles were impeding on their life.
Having always thought I'd specialise in paediatrics in terms of physical disease or injury if I make it as a doctor, I'm now leaning towards psychiatry, whether paediatrics or adults. I don't have to make any decisions anytime soon, but specializing in eating disorders would be so amazing, although a huge challenge in so many ways.
Luckily, I know that God has planned my path: He's planned my deliverance from this and He's planned how He'll use everything I learn for my good and His glory <3
I'm trying to allow myself to celebrate my progress more this week:
From my increasing ability to see food in terms of nourishment as opposed to calories...: 
...to random moments that make me laugh hard, and create memories of everyday fun!
