missing my babies...

Tonight at church (at the evening service), I'm doing my talk on my experiences of South Africa. As a result of this, I've spent the last few days looking at lots of my pictures and videos from South Africa. I thought this would get easier as time went by, but it's actually getting harder. I knew coming home away from the children who were, in my mind, essentially my own, would be very difficult, but I didn't expect it to be so painful for over a month afterwards.

Just thinking about how far away those kids are now and with different volunteers brings tears to my eyes and it's made me realize how much I've repressed the grief I feel over leaving recently. I'm really hurting at the moment because of how much I miss the children (and other volunteers, to a slightly lesser extent). I think it's important for me to acknowledge that right now, and try to work through it...

Right now, I'm going to focus on getting through tonight without breaking down in the middle of my presentation...because looking at my pictures and particularly the videos stirs up such powerful emotions at the minute.

Heidi and general life

Since I last posted, I’ve been really busy with IMPACT! stuff and getting used to the routine…

I had a lovely Saturday when I sang at Jenny Fox (a lady from church)’s wedding. It was just me, Wayne and Conor in the band, which confused me at first but it turned out well and we polished the songs off in epic practices.


That afternoon, I went and picked up MY CAR! It’s a little white Hyundai i10, which I have named Heidi! I love her, and life has been so much less complicated (but a bit more expensive with petrol…) since I have the ability to get around…

The night I got her, I took Maddy on a drive and we went down some random roads and ended up on this horrendous pot hole track! It was awful, and I had to drive at 5mph while we tried to work out where we were…funny times. Mads also got out of the car to take a picture, then immediately got back in like ‘lock the doors Anna, I can hear breathing!!” :D. The car also means I've been able to see Josh lots more, which is really lovely...



Last week’s theology course went really well – it was so interesting and I really felt like I learned a lot. One thing that stood out was the doctrine of the trinity, because it’s one of those topics that seems to be underrepresented in sermons etc, probably because it’s so complicated!

On Tuesday evening, I had tea at Maddy’s (Ian was there too, and we had a delicious tea!) then watched 90210 with Mads, Lexie and Ruthy before Matty and I gave her our presents – fluffy socks, some little animals to represent us, options hot chocolate and other nibbly bits. When I drove home at about 12:30am, I was sobbing in the car…dramatic times. I don’t like goodbyes at all! But I know she’ll have an amazing time – and she seems to be enjoying it so far.

Matty and I have started a ‘love Monday’ especially for Maddy – today we let ourselves into her house and took a picture of us with her stuff, as well as washing up and leaving her dad a present. We’ll be doing it every week now, so that’ll be nice :).




I love the youth groups and I love the youth! One of the Rock Solid girls made a commitment yesterday which was really encouraging, and I’m building good relationships with them all.
Yesterday I felt so confident in myself all day – in a way that could only have come from God. In church I felt like I carried the music group (leader wasn’t feeling well and we hadn’t practiced enough). Yesterday was a really good day in terms of juggling everything – I felt capable. Today, I've been applying for other part time jobs and things feel good at the moment! Food stuff has been a bit difficult but I'm sure it's just because of the fact I'm adjusting to a new routine...

Happy Monday <3

Finding a new routine...

Home is definitely my 'new normal' again at this point - I've caught up with most of my friends; been to church 3 times and settled back into a routine of music practice, WASC and my other old activities as well as new ones...



My weekly schedule is becoming clear, and I’m throwing myself into this IMPACT! job. It’s so exciting and I can tell I’m going to learn and grow a lot through doing this – I only hope I can do the role justice, because I’m realizing the level of responsibility involved and it’s challenging, but in a good way. At the end of last week (4th-6th January), the 4 of us that now make up the team (trained youth worker and 3 of us as interns) went away to Northern Ireland to plan and renew the vision for the next 8 months. It was a really valuable time and we grew closer as a team as well as making a lot of progress with the planning etc…






I’m still looking for another (properly paid so I can start undoing my debts to my parents caused by South Africa) part time job, but haven’t heard anything back from the places I’ve applied yet. I’m not pushing things right now because I’m doing a theology course next week so need it free really anyway!
This week has been pretty good so far – the weekend was amazing, because I had Rock Solid and the pub with everyone (including Josh who was over for the weekend) on Friday, then back at WASC on Saturday, as well as a lovely long walk with Josh and THE BEST DAY on Sunday. Was at church from 9am, to practice music and then my gorgeous Maddy got baptized. Amazing day! The worship went so well, and Mads was fantastic in her talk…




Yesterday, Maddy and I went to Oxford for a free Spa day which was also brilliant.


I’m keen to get organizing with my new IMPACT! notebook so I’ll sign off. Also, exciting news coming up re: a car for me, and ordering my new guitar. As is obvious, I’ve decided not to worry about money in the near future, or I’ll never get anywhere!