"I'm back in (Warrington) and everything seems the same"...

I’m slowly settling into life back at home! Already, South Africa feels a bit like a distant memory, but for the first couple of days I was home, I genuinely felt like I was living in a dream. It all felt so strange and alien, and I was really homesick for the Aviva House. To be honest I’m trying not to think about it too much at the moment because I still really miss all the people and the atmosphere of the house…it’s like a completely different life so adjustment through immersing myself in the here and now is seeming like the best way to do it at the moment...

It’s so lovely to see everyone at home again though! Maddy came over on Tuesday night (I got home from the airport just after 5pm) and we had an emotional reunion on my doorstep, and I’ve been seeing more and more people for catch ups. Christmas was lovely! I just had a quiet day with my parents, with the exception of going to church and catching up with everyone (SO lovely and emotional to be back at my church…it really felt like I’d never been away).





Mum and Dad got me a surprise Christmas present of a replacement camera, and I dug out my old ipod and synced as much of my itunes to it as possible, so I feel a lot more back on track in terms of being sorting with my electronics… I also had a nice phone call with Josh (well until his signal cut out) so it was great to hear his voice again.



I was in a productive mood on Christmas afternoon/evening, so ended up taking all my stuff off my bedroom walls (it had got too cluttered) and redecorating the walls in terms of pictures and things. Before and after pictures are below! I love my new room



On Boxing Day I had a day trip with the Farrow Family (Richard, Maddy and Matthew). We went to Crosby beach and had a nice walk around, then went back to theirs for a Christmas Dinner. Richard made the most amazing duck and traditional Christmas dinner (my 2nd this year) complete with pigs in blankets and chilli broccoli…it was so good.





Boxing Day night we had a reunion trip to the London Bridge -I got to catch up with everyone over some Crabbie’s alcoholic ginger beer and hear how they were all getting on at uni/share about South Africa. It all felt very ‘full circle’ considering the last time we were there was a few days before I went away, and in a way it didn’t feel that long ago! (Jonny decided putting lemon in his eye was clever...):



I’ve also just got back from visiting Grandad in Essex. It was quite a difficult trip to be honest. The house felt so strange and empty without Grandma and I had a couple of ‘bad food days’…but it was still lovely to spend a bit of time with my parents – Dad and I did crosswords together and I had nice chats with mum on the way to Bushfair and back.




All in all, I’m slowly settling back into life at home. I’ve been handing out CVs so hopefully will have a job before long! However, I got a phone call in South Africa to ask if I’d like a part time job with IMPACT! (primarily to cover Maddy while she’s away but also until September) so I’m really excited to get started with that! I can already tell that it’ll be a busy few months, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so thankful for the amazing opportunities and relationships I’m blessed with here and looking forward to getting into my new home routine.

Moving forward

I've, again, been ridiculously busy over the last few weeks! - catching up with people, holidays, preparing for South Africa (which is fast approaching)...

Things got worse after my last post - on Friday 12th August, my Grandma died in the hospice. I then decided it was a good idea to go to the pub as normal on the friday night and (this was the bad part of the idea...) drink more than normal as a way of escaping, that I knew from the outset wouldn't work but felt that I needed to do. It ended horrendously - with me sobbing over everyone and feeling totally and utterly in despair and too scared to go home because I didn't want to wake up and find that nothing had changed. It was a definite low point, probably the worst night of my life because that feeling of everything crumbling came into consciousness!
But the good thing about the lowest point is that things can only get better from there, and they definitely have!



On results day, I opened my 3As and an A* with happiness but also fear at the decision it means I have to make...I have my place at Brighton-Sussex med school now... Scary times! But results night was a really lovely party with some good friends...lots of fun :)


Momentum was good, but quite hard for various reasons (especially after feeling so broken so soon before). I had some amazing experiences of God while there and learned a lot from the seminars and teaching...





Since I got back, I had Grandma's funeral (which was a lovely service and made me very proud to have known such a Godly and beautifully amazing woman) and also catching up with friends before we all leave for uni/gap years...





Things have also got a lot better because, as of last Thursday (1st September), I'm going out with Josh - an amazing guy who I've known for a few years but has always been a bit 'unreachable'...I'm so happy and it's only early days, but I'm seeing what happens and enjoying the gift of such a great relationship.



So things have been mixed, but through it all God has shown His goodness, and I'm excited to see what He'll be doing next :)

A Weekend in Essex

Well, last time I posted I promised to be better with blogging so here I am! I'm quite tired having just spent 4 hours in the car, but it was a nice journey so I don't mind. I thought I'd share a picture I found on a website I love (secretzen.com) because it made me feel good today, and is now my background:



This weekend, I went to visit my maternal grandparents, who live over 200 miles away in Essex. They're getting quite frail now so haven't come to visit us for a few years (although they never came up here regularly because of the logistics of not driving etc) but we drive down for weekends quite a lot (every 6 weeks or so). My Grandad's now 89 (he'll be 90 next month!) and my Grandma's 83 (I think!), so both of them are beginning to struggle with getting to the shops and things - Dad's going to start doing tesco orders for them online, so Grandma gave us a list of the brands of groceries she usually buys and is going to ring to ask us to send of for them when she needs them :) I think it's an idea that could work well!

We usually travel down on a Friday night, sleep over, then come back on Saturday night so we have a day to do work etc, but this time I really wanted to go to Unite on Friday (which was really good) so we went yesterday (Saturday) morning and came back this afternoon instead. The journey on the way was good, although we had to leave at 7:30am, a time that should not exist unless you haven't been to sleep yet! (not that I ever really stay up - it just sounds good :P ) I listened to my iPod, read a magazine etc and the 4 hours passed relatively quickly!

When we arrived we had a cup of tea, then decided that the loft needed to be sorted out - upon asking what was in there, Grandma said they hadn't looked since they got back from Australia!! (they were in Australia from 1961 to 1965 haha) As I was the smallest and youngest I had to climb the ladder, stand on Dad's shoulder and hoist myself into the loft - not too pleasant an experience to be honest (dusty, the air tasted funny and freezing cold!) I felt like a bit of a ninja though (:P), sitting on one side of the opening and wedging myself there with my legs! I pulled out some extremely vintage suitcases and boxes of toys and searching through them was really interesting :). However, after I'd managed to get down (pretty scary jumping onto the ladder!) I came out in a really itchy, sore rash on my arms and hands which we've later realised must have been from the loft insulation, which I tried not to touch but did a bit because I had to put my hands under the cases to lift them up... The rash is still there a bit but seems to be clearing up now :)

After the loft adventure, Mum and I took Grandma to Tesco (part of the routine) and I did my OCD with the trolley organisation, bag packing and car filling helping job :). This morning we had a nice fry up cooked by Grandma and left at around 11:30am (I watched 'Music and Lyrics' (yummm Hugh Grant) in the car, got a caramel latte from the services and listened to my iPod)

It was a nice weekend, despite all the travelling. It's only recently I've started to properly appreciate my grandparents for people, rather than just my lovely grandparents - especially my Grandma. A couple of years ago she had cancer, had an operation and chemotherapy and very nearly died. She thankfully recovered, but has been diagnosed with cancer again very recently, apparently it's spread to her chest wall and the prognosis isn't good. My dad said she might not be here next Christmas but I don't want to think about that because she's the relative I'm closest to except for my parents and such a lovely, lovely person.

I think my Grandma is the person in the family most like me - I see so much of myself in her! (even though it should probably be the other way around..) That sounds like I'm being really vain now having said she's so lovely but I have some of her faults as well as a couple of her qualities. We share a similar sense of humour, and she hates confrontation and tries to see the good in people as well. I really, really want her to be okay :( she starts radiotherapy on Thursday so I hope it works!

I'm going to go to get ready for my work experience next week (doing a prospective medical student programme at Warrington Hospital) - I need to decide on an outfit for tomorrow and make sure I have everything I need.

<3 xx