I had a little moment tonight - a moment of 'this is why I choose recovery'.
...because life is beautiful and fleeting, and I want to be well and whole so I can go and grab hold of the little wisps of beauty and opportunity that come my way...so that when I see that sunset reflection in my window I have the energy to run to my bedroom and grab my guitar, and the stamina to run up onto the South Downs before the sky's colours fade.
I want to have the freedom to not have to be accompanied on my sunset-chasing missions. I want to be trusted enough to make decisions and to keep them spontaneous. I want to be able to go up on the hill and sing worship to my God at the top of my voice and not care if I look a bit crazy, or I'm sitting surrounded by thistles wearing flipflops...or there's a herd of cows worrying nearby...
I may have 'wasted' some revision time tonight - time I can ill-afford to sacrifice. I'm SO behind. But actually, sunset chasing is worth it (she says, boiling the kettle for coffee to continue studying at 11pm...)
Life is beautiful and fleeting. Spontaneous sunset chasing guitar moments make my heart soar. Over and out.
