Last weekend, I was in York to celebrate Wayne and Ruth getting married. It was a lovely day although a little strange in that it was exactly a year since I was last in York for a wedding (and since I saw many of my Northern friends!) and in the same church. Lots of memories of a not-very-nice weekend that time due to being so ill at the time but, this year, things were very different. It was difficult at times but so joyful and I was so present. I stayed dancing until the early hours and enjoyed the celebrations so much.
On Friday, we move into our new house which is closer to the hospital for next year (3rd year starts tomorrow!) and a really nice layout. A new chapter in my story with my Brightonian family, and moving to a new location all together is significant to me too - our house; not theirs with me as a lodger (although they've always made sure I don't feel that way). I'm so excited about decorating my room!
Ellie and Iyla are as precious as ever. Ellie started nursery this week and was incredibly brave: even on her first day, she was joining in with everything and encouraging the shyer children (who have been at the nursery for months!) to play with her as well. I'm so proud of her kindness, courage, gentleness and boundless energy and enthusiam! She's recognised how much I like cuddles lately - either instructing everyone to 'duddle Anna' or getting me to lie with my head on her tummy and stroking my hair. Iyla is 6 months old now: learning to sit up and starting to be weaned. Her new pterodactyl noise is both hilarious and a little scary but her giggle is just completely beautiful. I love these little girls so much!
A couple of weeks ago, upon going home to see my parents, I was hit with the bombshell that they are divorcing, and it's all a little messy and upsetting. The divorce itself I can deal with, with a bit of getting used to and some tears over the loss of our house with all its memories etc, but the back story is a lot harder to reconcile. I'm leaning into God's grace; trying to balance out my reliance on God and my reliance on people...having only just properly started to put my trust in people as opposed to weight and numbers and performance, being so suddenly and dramatically reminded that people are unpredictable and imperfect is difficult. I am SO thankful for my firm foundation; my faithful, pursuing, passionate Jesus. A few wobbly days of restricting and hurting myself; a little too much alcohol and a couple of cigarettes; some reckless shoe shopping and lots of tears later I'm feeling more sensible. I want my Jesus; nothing else will do. No other comfort compares to even a fraction of how it is to be close to Him...
