I've taken potentially my longest ever break from blogging...and it's been rather glorious. Life now is so different to the way it used to be: I honestly think I'm 'more recovered' than I've ever been. Generally, I can cry when people hurt me instead of damaging myself; I spend quality time with God every day; I actually tolerated my body when I got dressed this morning!
I'm being increasingly vulnerable with the people around me; enjoying med school and getting more excited about the future.
My house still brings me such joy. This beautiful little girl is such a blessing to me every day; when she steals some of my toast every breakfast time and wants to sit on my lap when she's having her nap time bottle. When she belly laughs if I throw her in the air and makes me sing 'sleepy bunnies' over and over...she makes my heart happy.
Iyla Jane Rebekah was born 5 weeks early in the early hours of Monday morning... Waking Ellie up with the news that she's a big sister was incredibly special; a moment I'll treasure always. Tonight, I met little Iyla for the first time. She is so beautiful I could barely breathe...can't wait to have her home with us all.
I decided while I was there that I think neonatology might be the career for me. I'm feeling so at peace with where I'm meant to be right now. Despite still doubting myself and my abilities in every sense, I feel like there's a real purpose for my studying medicine and my ridiculous love for babies. I'm excited to see what happens; although nervous. Competitive medical specialities make me want to run for the hills; I just feel that I'll never measure up.
Baby, baby steps are the only way in which to do this - I'm learning that more and more. I had my KT this morning for the term and I think it went fine... It's incredible that for the first ever term at med school, I've got through a whole term without wasting all my time losing weight and giving up on my degree (and life in general!) for the sake of such an empty goal..
I feel increasingly present in my life. It's special.
I'm getting back my passion for leading worship. I'm feeling more and more capable of facing up to real life (although still very much inclined to use avoidance when things get difficult). God is so good.
I'm feeling lots more changes coming soon...moving into a new season of growth and vulnerability. Church related; life related; lots of changes are going to challenge me. I'm thankful for Him who is constant through it all; who pushes us towards growth and away from comfort - ultimately for our good and for His glory. Excited for the next steps...
