'Carpe Diem'

Well this is a bit of a spontaneous post, but I'm in Rome at the moment, on holiday with my parents. I'll do a post about the holiday when it's over (we get back on Easter Saturday), but the reason for this post is a bit of thinking I was just doing in the shower (I know it's weird!)

About a month ago, a girl at my college died in a car accident. I didn't know her, wasn't in any of her lessons (she was in the year above, and doing different subjects) and was away on work experience when it happened, so didn't grieve for her in the personal way that I know many others did, but I think everyone who was linked to her at all was affected. The college's atmosphere changed overnight, whole classes went to her memorial and cried, and a facebook page for her was flooded with messages of love and support (and continues to be even now). I know that she will be very greatly missed by everyone who knew her. RIP Alice Worthington.

But the reason I'm thinking of Alice particularly today has probably got something to do with the fact that I'm in Italy. Stereotypically, Italians have 'emotional intelligence', while we Brits just have a 'stiff upper lip'. It's certainly true that Italians are passionate people - it's visible from watching them interact with each other, and that has probably prompted my deep thinking...



What I'm trying to say is, ultimately, that I need to live my life more. I need to stop thinking about the what ifs and the maybes of the future, and concentrate on the present - I AM ALIVE! and right now I should be grabbing my opportunities and getting out of them everything I can, but instead I seem to be grasping at the future. I think ahead too much and need to come back to the present, where I need to be living and serving at the moment.




When I was thinking about this, a Bible verse came to mind, John 10:10: '...I came that they may have life, and have it in abundance...'. So from now on, that's what I'm going to try to do - have life in abundance

Results :)

This is my account from the day after results day:

So here I am, the morning after the results day that doesn't seem real until after a sleep. Yesterday I woke up feeling sick, worrying about results, muddled through my lessons thinking about little else and tried to pass what has to be the longest lunch time ever (because we had results straight after) by wandering around with Maddy trying not to panic!

And then the time drew near, and Maddy went up to her form room with a scared face and a whispered 'good luck' and I smiled and headed towards the chapel to meet Lauren, trying to keep breathing normally and muttering a swear word. Lauren was quite shocked: 'you're a Christian, Anna! You don't swear!' and I immediately felt bad, but it felt necessary at the time!

When we got in, we sat on the swivel chairs downstairs, waiting for my chemistry teacher (who happened to be giving results to our form because our form tutor has two forms), who appeared with a handful of white sheets. Lauren, being 'Lauren B' got hers near the start and had great results - As and Bs and I was really proud of her! She was happy :). I couldn't wait for mine (and having an 'R' surname didn't help!) and as it got close to my name, then at my name I saw the teacher glance at my sheet before she handed it to me and smile - I thought 'is she smiling because I've done okay, or is it a smile of pity?!' and then it was in my hands and I was reading it.

Chemistry 63/90 - B
Biology 98/100 - A
Psychology 88/100 - A
General studies 161/200 - A

I couldn't believe it! I ignored my As and zoned in on the chemistry result I'd been dreading for the last 3 months - a B?! It was a moment of real happiness! I still can't understand how I got a B, because thinking back to how many stupid mistakes I made on that paper, I feel like I deserve a U! (and now I'm wishing I had an A, but that's perfectionism for you)

A bit of a sad time followed as I found out that some of my friends hadn't done so well. Some hadn't worked much, and didn't seem to care about their Us and Es, but some had and that was gutting. One in particular had worked amazingly hard - much, much harder than me - and had come out with Ds and Es and was so upset - it was horrible, because I didn't know what to say at all. She cried and, in 6 years of very close friendship, it's only the second time I've ever seen her cry (she's amazingly strong!) and it was a really hard few minutes. I felt awful and wished I could give her some of my grades to take the hurt away :( she's okay now though - something like this isn't going to stop her! :)



^ this is the new college building - I took this sitting on the grass after getting my results

Right I'm off to get ready now - take care xxx

Summer is coming < 3

I promise I'll update soon about my work experience (which went well) but I need to fine tune the massive word document full of experiences from it before I post it on here, because it'd get very boring - I'll only post the highlights for the sake of all mankind!

What I really wanted to post about today was how good the weather this week has made me feel! It's quite amazing what a difference a bit of sun can make to my mood in the morning: I get up more easily, don't need to carry around my coat and feel privileged to walk through the woods I have to go through to get to the bus. It's so beautiful - I'll have to take a picture tomorrow, and the flowers are pushing through all around - you can smell the sweetness of new life <3 Walking to the bus admiring the beauty sets me up for the day so much better than the Winter thoughts of 'oh my goodness I thought these shoes were waterproof!'

This was the sky this morning, and it made me feel so good :)



I'd better go to do my psychology homework now, but it's results day tomorrow from the January exams. I'm so, so scared because I genuinely think I failed chemistry...argh! I'm going to try not to think of it now though...aaaaand relax!

I'll probably be back soon with a mixture of good and bad news (I think I'll do okay in psychology, biology and general studies. My predictions are A in psychology, B in biology, B in general studies and D in chemistry. I'll let you know what happens there!)

:)