Flying through May...

This last month has flown by! I'm well into study leave now, and should be revising hard but somehow lack the time and motivation most days... Although I'm again living that strange 'in limbo' time that seems to happen before exams, when you're half enjoying life and half in a cave revising, lots has been going on! I passed my driving theory test on Saturday so can book my practical now (yay!).

May's IMPACT! was another good one - we did some top songs (e.g. 'Adoration', 'Your love never fails', 'Blessed be Your Name') and it felt like God was really moving... There was this line in 'Your Love Never Fails' that gets me every time: "the chasm was far too wide - I never thought I'd reach the other side, but Your love never fails...". So amazing, and so true!




Recent weeks have seen more fun gatherings - like a celebratory end of college BBQ at Matt's, which ended in us getting tipsy and pulling him, fully-clothed, into the hot tub!:







I've had a few nice, chilled Friday nights heading to the London Bridge (local pub) with friends, watching people (basically Dec and Matt) repeatedly getting 'pennied' and enjoying the warmth of the patio heaters...





Food wise, things have been getting a lot easier. I've not had a proper panic attack since Friday 13th May...which is pretty much a record since I've been eating lots again so doing well! :D some days are still a struggle but...onwards and upwards! I found this quote: "Recover to the fullest. Don't try to do it perfectly, but do it to the best of your ability and give it your all", and that's what I'm trying to do. God is sovereign, and at the heart of EVERY situation...that knowledge helps so much :). It'll take time, but I know I can get better and get back a 'normal' eating relationship. (halloumi is a lifesaver - so easy to nibble on and doesn't fill me up too much!)




I've just got back from my Grandparents' and I have that weird 'too full of emotion' feeling I used to get all the time... It's not a sad or a happy feeling, and doesn't come particularly as a result of emotive events, but stems from a mixture of delirious tiredness and overthinking. I used to dream of lying in my back in a field at night and looking at the stars and it's that kind of feeling - a strange need for space....maybe it's time for bed!

I'll try to update sooner next time but for the next couple of weeks...off to the textbooks I go!!

Easter Holidays!

Well, the Easter Holidays are drawing to a close and, while I've done absolutely nowhere near the amount of revision I should have (I haven't actually revised for a week!), I've refueled a bit and had some good days out.
Matt McGee's 18th was as good (and eventful!) as I expected - lots of people, lots of alcohol and lots of fun :D.





On the first Tuesday of the holidays, I went to Alton Towers with Georgie and her brothers. It was a really good day and we went on all the 'big rides', including Rita which I'd always been too scared to go on before...it was amazing. My favourite is definitely still Air - it really does feel like you're flying! I was thinking while on it how alive it made me feel, and then that rollercoasters should be used in eating disorder treatment - they're so good at connecting you back with sensations and your body....there's a market out there somewhere...


Another highlight was my beach trip with Maddy - we were planning to spend the day revising...then saw the beautiful sun and realised we had the car at our disposal. It took about 10 minutes for us to realise that a road trip to Wales was a good plan! Mads drove us to Talacre beach, then we decided to carry on to Conway after chilling in Talacre for a bit and had a really good day walking around the walls, eating fish and chips and pretending to be rich kids with our Jack Wills shorts and preppy hats, while being two 17 year olds in a BIG car :D.





Mads decided her dream was to drive down this particular strip of road, overlooking the sea, while listening to 'Sweet Disposition'. We did it, and it didn't fall short of expectations.


Other good times were going to see Rob Bell, learning how to parallel park in my driving lesson (and doing it perfectly first time!), watching the Royal Wedding at Maddy's while wearing tiaras and visiting baby Anabelle. I also replied to my offers yesterday - BSMS is firm and Leicester is insurance.
A song I am so addicted to at the moment is 'Grace' by Phil Wickham - it is absolutely breathtaking :) I adore it!
'cause I need eyes to be my guide, I need a voice that's louder than mine. I need hope and I need You 'cause I can't do this alone... <3