Wednesday 10 August 2011

Faithful?

I've been avoiding blogging because, although I've been having some amazing times over the summer so far (MCYC camp, New Wine, WASC, general spending time with friends etc...), things have been really hard.

(some pictures from Seniors 1 2011)




Although I'm actually doing really well with food at the moment, and had an amazing healing experience at camp which meant I'm no longer numb and can feel my emotions again, lots of things are crumbling at the moment. I don't want to post a 'depressing blog post', and I'm generally a very positive person...but I think it's important to recognise that sometimes it's okay (necessary in fact) to be realistic about difficult situations...

(me in my Gems uniform at New Wine)

Without going into too much detail on a public blog, my Grandma is now in the hospice and likely to only have days left; other family members (including my mum, who was in hospital after reacting badly to her chemo) are seriously ill; I feel like I have no idea where my life is going; my heart pretty much got broken at camp by a really close guy friend who screwed me over for a girl he barely knows etc etc....
It really just seems like my whole life's crumbling apart...I know that's being overdramatic but it feels that way at the moment and it's only healthy to acknowledge that...

The most important thing at the moment is that I deal with all of this by clinging to God - the solid, loving, unfailing foundation that He is - and no other unhealthy coping mechanisms...this was what I kept remembering last night on a 'getting over Matt' night out - alcohol is not going to make me feel better! Which is why I'm glad Maddy and I were home by 1:30am and eating hash browns in her front room...



The song getting me through at the minute is 'Faithful' by Chris Tomlin...the bridge is pretty amazing <3

You are there in every season of my soul
You are there, You're the anchor that will hold
You are there, in the valley of the shadows
You are faithful, God