What is recovery to me?

I started this as a kind of spider diagram (but without the lines because they make things look way too messy!) page for inspiration in my journal: What does recovery mean to me?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately...some people seem to think that being recoverED instead of recoverING happens when suddenly everything in your life is perfect and happy. That's a lovely idea, and the prospect of things being perfect is obviously extremely appealing but, in reality, life is never going to be perfect. I know that things won't be perfect until heaven - and I'm actually very much okay with that because I know that that place of total intimacy with God will be so worth all of the pain of this earth. But where does that leave me in terms of defining recovery and being recovered?

I read somewhere that being recovered means that you have the ability to deal with the disappointments in life in a healthy way, and I find that idea a lot more realistic than the 'everything being perfect' view of recovered. But that's not enough...

So here are some of the things that recovery means to me:

• Living life in all its fullness (John 10:10)
• Letting go of being obsessive and over-controlling
• Being healthy enough to do all the things I'm meant to do.

• Working through my problems instead of punishing myself for them
• Offering myself to God as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)

• Knowing that negative thoughts and feelings don't have to lead to negative actions
• Going out for meals with the people I love and enjoying the company, flavours and textures without anxiety over calories/fat/weight

 Trusting God with EVERY aspect of my life

To me, my goal of being recovered isn't about a number on the scales that shows I'm healthy; the ability to be comfortable eating healthy amounts or even reaching the point where restricting/making myself sick isn't something I'd ever desire. Yes, those are all part of it but overall I'm aiming for a wholeness that comes from trusting entirely in God, and a new recognition of who He is - and who I can be as a result of that...

I'm not there yet - to be honest, I'm only just setting out on getting there when I think about it in perspective, but every day, making the right decisions inches me closer to being recovered. And best of all, I know that on those days where I fight and fight and struggle to move forward at all, God will carry me.

It's all about surrrender...


"as long as we're trying to save ourselves, He can't save us" <3