mid-June update

I guess I've just been too busy over the past couple of weeks to post much - I've had lots of caring hours and IMPACT! event etc, and have been pretty exhausted with keeping up with everything to be honest. As of tomorrow, however, I'll have finished with Bluebird - which is quite a big relief! I've been so busy and it'll be lovely just to have some space and be able to give more to my youth work. Also, since I last posted, things have flipped around a bit.  I've recently got together with one of my closest guy friends and it's had such a huge affect on everything.

 Matty is lovely and it's so nice to have the privilege of working with my boyfriend! not many people can say that!

 This weekend we had friends staying, and the amount of food we ate was ridiculous. I can't imagine how I would have begun to deal with it all a few weeks ago - because I was pressured to eat 3 course meals three days in a row, and had no opportunity to compensate (which was a good thing really, but still difficult). I had to 'white knuckle it' at times and breathe through horrible, anxious minutes of being overwhelmed, but I made it without using behaviours - and I see that as a major achievement.

I'm also working on things like stopping being so regimented with the exact food items I'll buy and cook for myself...when I was food shopping the other day I realized how strictly I stick to my 'safe foods'...and I know that's something I need to work on... but I know that I will get there. It will take more time; more energy and more of God's help but I'm determined not to give up on recovery. I still have days where I'm really struggling at the moment, but I'm so blessed by an amazing support network and the realization that I really do love life. It hurts and it's difficult at times, but I'm determined not to waste the opportunities I have - and that means that continuing to strive for recovery is the only option!

Galatians 5:1 "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery..."