I choose perspective

I just had clinic, and I gained weight back (having had a bit of a wobbly week where I lost a little) and it's hard. It's horrible. I don't like gaining weight. It feels disgusting and it goes against what I've taught myself means 'in control' for so long, and it feels like my life is spiralling...

But I know I just need to seek some positive perspective in this so here goes:

1) I choose to remind myself of yesterday:

It was so encouraging. I did a talk at my hub at church on humility and was more confident than I'd ever been about a talk (although that's not saying much because I'm not the best at standing up in front of people!) - it just felt so natural and is something I'm really passionate about. It went really well and the whole of the hub night was incredible - such a sense of God's presence as we worshipped and prayed and I felt fully comfortable and so close to everyone...

acoustic worship makes me happy :)

While I was on the bus there, I was so blessed as well. I just sat and was listening to my ipod as usual ('Pursuit' by Jesus Culture) and I suddenly felt God in a way I hadn't in so long. I was just filled with a calm security and had shivers down my spine... It meant so much to me.There is literally nothing in the whole world that is more amazing than feeling God close, and it's something I've missed so much lately while I've been a bit 'wall-putty-uppy' (wow, my eloquence is astounding ;))


2) I choose to see myself physically with a 'healthy mind perspective':

When I'm able to be rational, I know that I look so much better how I am now! Despite feeling massive, I know that I am so much prettier when I'm healthy because my skin and hair and face just look so much better. I have curves which are more attractive than bones (also, I know I look better with boobs and my ghetto booty back, just sayin').

the day I started my meal plan properly vs. this morning

 3) I choose to look for the 10,000 reasons to worship today

Recovery = glorifying to God. God = incredible. I want to seek out those reasons to worship. I want to open my eyes, in this moment, to the presence of SO much good, and so much beauty around me.
Good music; beautiful flowers; a strong cup of tea; the people I love; even waking up this morning. Life is short, and life is hard but so, so beautiful. I want to find that beauty at every opportunity...

 
When I look at my 3 points, a little electronic number that tells me my body has a few hundred grams more water or muscle or fat or breakfast or clothing or whatever in it is pretty meaningless.

Today, I choose perspective