This week has been mixed - lots of challenges, but lots of laughter as well. I became an accidental acrobat for Love Monday...
...and ended up doing the splits at one point while trying to get down from the ladders! It was very painful but in a funny way!
Sophie and I also cooked risotto and apple crumble for the worship group...a really valuable time of fellowship that we're definitely going to have to start having more often.
Valentine's Day wasn't the best I've had (we'll leave it at that), but it turned out okay in the end. I headed to the office (noone else was there as Tuesdays are our day off) and played my guitar, journalled and made myself golden syrup porridge for tea! Amy came to see me and we talked through some stuff (things are becoming really clear in some ways...). She's amazing because she focuses so little on the food...it's like she really does understand that that's the very tip of the iceberg.
I'm making baby steps towards recovery again...slowly but surely. Each day I find more and more reasons to push forward and accept myself as I am. Not when I reach this or that goal weight - because I know the weight loss will never be enough.
My support network is growing and I'm refusing to push people away. Because, much as I don't feel like it at the minute, I deserve to be happy...and I can't be the things I want to be to other people unless I stay healthy myself...
On Wednesday, we took the youth on a half-term trip to the Lake District and it was a brilliant day! They loved it, the weather was perfect (although a bit windy on the top of Helm's Cragg!)
It's been a busy but mostly good week, but there's still the constant battle in my head...a jumble of calories, weight, diet ideas, reasons to recover, advice, scripture and songs...and I'm teasing it out, bit by bit. I've done this before so I can do it again.
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