immeasurably more

This week has brought some very beautiful weather, which inspired a lovely Saturday lunch time worshipping in the sun, the breaking out of my summer dresses, fire pit and guitar times and a very Spring-like love monday picture...



As of Wednesday, I'm house/dog/catsitting for the next 2-and-a-bit weeks...and I'm very much enjoying the independence and being a dog owner! Marley is a lot of hard work - he seeks attention like a child and literally follows me from room to room (cries outside the bathroom door when I go to the toilet), but he's amazing company and such a comforting presence at the end of my bed at night.

We're having a few jealousy issues when I have to focus on things that aren't him, but getting along great :D.

Living on my own has brought its own challenges - food shopping and cooking for myself, as well as finding time to cook/eat when I'm busy and having no accountability. It's not easy but I'm proud of how I'm doing so far...

In terms of not using ED behaviours, I've carried on doing well! I'm eating very healthily (the idea of nourishing my body with the right foods is very appealing, and I actually love salads etc) but doing my best not to restrict; haven't weighed myself since 9th March and haven't been sick since 17th March... I'm still dealing with lots of thoughts and some serious anxiety (especially the last few days when I've been battling panic attacks a bit again), but I realised the gravity of my achievement with behaviours when Amy was genuinely so proud of me when we met up on Wednesday. I'm proud of myself.

I've got a mantra when I'm tempted to use bad habits: 'this doesn't glorify God, and isn't a part of my life anymore'. In that situation, I remind myself of Romans 12:1..
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. .
So much motivation to keep going with those up my sleeve...my God is good.

I've journalled every day this week...and it's really not out of obligation which I feel is very important. Things aren't nearly as effective when I'm doing them 'because I should' or 'to try at recovery because I feel guilty if I don't'...I want to be free of this, and working through my thoughts in the form of journalling is really helping.
I'm keeping pushing forward and doing my best to surrender and place God at the centre in this.
because after all, God is him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20)