Summer...

Did I mention that I love Summer? I love the scents, the sounds, the feeling of the sun on my skin (after, of course, slathering myself in factor 50!). It even makes revision better, which is good because at the moment I'm spending 75% of my waking time revising and the other 25% feeling guilty because I'm not revising!

^here is me getting distracted while revising by how gorgeous the sky was!


I love daisies, walking barefoot through fields with sunglasses on my head and that feeling when you've finished all your exams and for a few weeks you forget that soon you'll have to do more, getting increasingly important each time.

I'm going to stop daydreaming about that day (10th June this time, although I have general studies exams after then - but general studies doesn't matter!) because I need to focus on the immediate thing - the dreaded 'R' word!
One last picture - me this afternoon, with some of the things I really love about Summer, in that lovely time between church and revision!



take care <3 xxx

A Year at College

As of yesterday afternoon I'm officially on study leave for my exams, and when I go back in June I'll be starting my A2 work - so this was my last day at college doing ASs. I genuinely can't believe how quickly this year has gone - and it's quite a scary thought that this time next year I'll be getting ready to leave for university!
This is my bus stop, on a day in Autumn when the tree was particularly colourful.

Here I am being a packhorse with everyone's bags on wednesday free:


I'm not sure if the person who named this thought of the implications, but it certainly amused me! It's surprising how much chemistry nomenclature I can apply in everyday life - in newspapers when the name of a drug substance is mentioned, I can picture the structure in my head and it make me feel rather clever!






I love biologyyy :) especially when Alex and I arrange our folders and pads in a sad symmetrical way!

The bus stop and tree more recently (the symbolism I could find in the way the tree's changed over the year!)

I think I've been avoiding revision a little too long - it's quite sunny so I'd go in the garden if the wind wouldn't blow my paper everywhere!



It'll have to be the left rather than the right today, sadly! :

24 hour fast!

In my local area, lots of the churches are passionate about stopping human trafficking, which is happening all around us - with the 14 being the average age of a girl being trafficked as a sex slave, the reality is very shocking! Churches have been doing lots of fundraising over the last few years for the charity 'Hope for Justice', which tackles these problems, and this weekend I took part in a 24 hour lock-in and fast in order to raise money through the sponsorship of friends and family. The slogan of the charity is written on the wall of the picture below: 'Because no-one is free, until everyone is free'


We arrived at 6:30pm on Friday (I was very full after eating all the food I possibly could after college on Friday), and signed in and gave in our sponsorship forms before being taken through into the boys' and girls' dorms (the main church hall was a boys only zone from 2am to 8am and the other big room was girls only at the same times) to put our bags/sleeping bags/pillows down. We all went in minibuses and cars to Unite, a great Christian event in the town centre, before coming back and watching 'Slumdog Millionaire'. The film was carefully chosen on the basis that it was relevant to the cause we were doing the fast for and, although our stomachs were beginning to rumble by the end (12am, having not eaten since half 6), it reminded us to focus on why we were doing it.

There was another film on, but I didn't really want to watch it so went to play table football and pool with a few other people :) I was good at the table football, but I think my pool skills need a bit more practice! We went to bed at 2am, and got to sleep not *too* long afterwards!

I managed to sleep for quite a long time, considering we were sleeping on the floor in a big room full of other people making noise! In the morning, I could feel my hunger much more and felt really sick until about lunchtime, when the nausea thankfully changed into normal hunger (much easier to cope with!) We had a session of worship which helped us to focus on God - I was pleased that we sang 'I can Only Imagine' because it's such an amazing song and we rarely do it at my church!
The afternoon went quite slowly, but the nicest hour of the fast was when we were allowed out onto the church field for an hour (from 1pm to 2pm). There was a water slide but I didn't feel like getting wet, so just sunbathed with some friends and messed around in the sun:







^ these people are all so lovely, and made the afternoon really nice despite the hunger growing ever hour :)

After we were made to go back inside (it was, after all, a lock in as well as a fast!) there was a special guest waiting to talk to us: Josh from the TV documentary series 'Blood, sweat and takeaways' that was aired on the BBC about a year ago. The programme had a section about the slave trade, and how many women had to sell their bodies in order to send money home to support their families and, after meeting these women while doing the series, Josh was really passionate about the cause. We got to talk to him and he spoke about his experiences - it was really good!


There was more free time after Josh left, and we all did our own thing (I tried and failed to do revision, so ended up just chatting to a group for a while), before another worship session. This one was really special, not only because of the great songs we did (Light of the World, The Stand etc) but also because the hunger we were all feeling had a bit of a spiritual effect during worship. The last song was 'Strength Will Rise', which was amazingly relevant because, by that time, I was feeling really lightheaded and weak and the song really helped me to focus on God and the cause. I think the worship was so special because drawing on God's strength was quite necessary by then - I was a bit wobbly so standing up was getting a bit hard!

And then, after the longest 7 minutes of my life, the pizza arrived! I can imagine the Domino's delivery men must have been a little alarmed by 40ish starving teenagers pressed up against the glass and staring at the pizzas they were carrying!
After the leaders had sorted out who ordered what (the tension by this point was horrific - we were all sitting around the tables staring longingly at the pizzas they were sorting out) they put them down in front of us, and was going to share a large Haiwaiian with Kiri. Then, when everyone had got theirs (waiting took a great deal of self control!) we stood up and did the 'superman grace' ('Thank you Looordd for giving us foooood' to the tune of superman!) and then tucked in...



and, wow, that pizza was absolutely AMAZING! We ate and ate - the tables were half as loud as usual as everyone delighted in the gift that was food - wow! I got very full afterwards, but it was worth it! DELICIOUS! :D

I think the fast, while obviously raising the money for 'Hope for Justice' (so far, the group of fasters has been pledged £1,453 for the 24 hours!), I gained personally from it as well - I think I learned how much I took food for granted. I'm now trying to make sure I only eat when I'm actually hungry rather than out of greed or boredom, which will hopefully be nice for my beach body (pfffft) as well as my self control and not being so greedy!

I have a biology test tomorrow on meiosis, mitosis, DNA and haemoglobin (arghh) as well as a chemistry quantitative assesment (although I got full marks on the first attempt of that, somehow, so not worried about my mark) so I'd better go to do some preparation...
xx

A Roman holiday!

I've been back at college for a week since the Easter break so I'm feeling like it's time to do a blog post about my week in Rome before I forget everything! (even though I have lots of things to organise and some homework to finish...)

During our week we went to lots of the famous places in Rome, like the vatican, the sistine chapel, pantheon, the colosseum etc. I think that before I went, I could never have imagined so much history and culture in one area! It was amazing and I learned a lot from the experience (as well as eating some beautifully done pasta and gorging on olives of course!).

The only thing that spoilt it slightly was the babies I saw everywhere - I'm always even broodier than usual on holiday (more time to daydream I guess!) and it was quite hard some days not to get upset about it. I know I'm being stupid but I just wish I could fast forward time to when I can be settled and get pregnant...

Aaaaanyway, I'm in more of a picture mood than a word mood so I think the rest of this post can be less wordy and more picture-y :)







These were the highlights of the holiday, and I'd post more pictures if blogger wasn't being selective about which ones it likes... But if I wait to publish this, I never will! So here we goooo :)

Hope everyone's well xx

'Carpe Diem'

Well this is a bit of a spontaneous post, but I'm in Rome at the moment, on holiday with my parents. I'll do a post about the holiday when it's over (we get back on Easter Saturday), but the reason for this post is a bit of thinking I was just doing in the shower (I know it's weird!)

About a month ago, a girl at my college died in a car accident. I didn't know her, wasn't in any of her lessons (she was in the year above, and doing different subjects) and was away on work experience when it happened, so didn't grieve for her in the personal way that I know many others did, but I think everyone who was linked to her at all was affected. The college's atmosphere changed overnight, whole classes went to her memorial and cried, and a facebook page for her was flooded with messages of love and support (and continues to be even now). I know that she will be very greatly missed by everyone who knew her. RIP Alice Worthington.

But the reason I'm thinking of Alice particularly today has probably got something to do with the fact that I'm in Italy. Stereotypically, Italians have 'emotional intelligence', while we Brits just have a 'stiff upper lip'. It's certainly true that Italians are passionate people - it's visible from watching them interact with each other, and that has probably prompted my deep thinking...



What I'm trying to say is, ultimately, that I need to live my life more. I need to stop thinking about the what ifs and the maybes of the future, and concentrate on the present - I AM ALIVE! and right now I should be grabbing my opportunities and getting out of them everything I can, but instead I seem to be grasping at the future. I think ahead too much and need to come back to the present, where I need to be living and serving at the moment.




When I was thinking about this, a Bible verse came to mind, John 10:10: '...I came that they may have life, and have it in abundance...'. So from now on, that's what I'm going to try to do - have life in abundance

Results :)

This is my account from the day after results day:

So here I am, the morning after the results day that doesn't seem real until after a sleep. Yesterday I woke up feeling sick, worrying about results, muddled through my lessons thinking about little else and tried to pass what has to be the longest lunch time ever (because we had results straight after) by wandering around with Maddy trying not to panic!

And then the time drew near, and Maddy went up to her form room with a scared face and a whispered 'good luck' and I smiled and headed towards the chapel to meet Lauren, trying to keep breathing normally and muttering a swear word. Lauren was quite shocked: 'you're a Christian, Anna! You don't swear!' and I immediately felt bad, but it felt necessary at the time!

When we got in, we sat on the swivel chairs downstairs, waiting for my chemistry teacher (who happened to be giving results to our form because our form tutor has two forms), who appeared with a handful of white sheets. Lauren, being 'Lauren B' got hers near the start and had great results - As and Bs and I was really proud of her! She was happy :). I couldn't wait for mine (and having an 'R' surname didn't help!) and as it got close to my name, then at my name I saw the teacher glance at my sheet before she handed it to me and smile - I thought 'is she smiling because I've done okay, or is it a smile of pity?!' and then it was in my hands and I was reading it.

Chemistry 63/90 - B
Biology 98/100 - A
Psychology 88/100 - A
General studies 161/200 - A

I couldn't believe it! I ignored my As and zoned in on the chemistry result I'd been dreading for the last 3 months - a B?! It was a moment of real happiness! I still can't understand how I got a B, because thinking back to how many stupid mistakes I made on that paper, I feel like I deserve a U! (and now I'm wishing I had an A, but that's perfectionism for you)

A bit of a sad time followed as I found out that some of my friends hadn't done so well. Some hadn't worked much, and didn't seem to care about their Us and Es, but some had and that was gutting. One in particular had worked amazingly hard - much, much harder than me - and had come out with Ds and Es and was so upset - it was horrible, because I didn't know what to say at all. She cried and, in 6 years of very close friendship, it's only the second time I've ever seen her cry (she's amazingly strong!) and it was a really hard few minutes. I felt awful and wished I could give her some of my grades to take the hurt away :( she's okay now though - something like this isn't going to stop her! :)



^ this is the new college building - I took this sitting on the grass after getting my results

Right I'm off to get ready now - take care xxx

Summer is coming < 3

I promise I'll update soon about my work experience (which went well) but I need to fine tune the massive word document full of experiences from it before I post it on here, because it'd get very boring - I'll only post the highlights for the sake of all mankind!

What I really wanted to post about today was how good the weather this week has made me feel! It's quite amazing what a difference a bit of sun can make to my mood in the morning: I get up more easily, don't need to carry around my coat and feel privileged to walk through the woods I have to go through to get to the bus. It's so beautiful - I'll have to take a picture tomorrow, and the flowers are pushing through all around - you can smell the sweetness of new life <3 Walking to the bus admiring the beauty sets me up for the day so much better than the Winter thoughts of 'oh my goodness I thought these shoes were waterproof!'

This was the sky this morning, and it made me feel so good :)



I'd better go to do my psychology homework now, but it's results day tomorrow from the January exams. I'm so, so scared because I genuinely think I failed chemistry...argh! I'm going to try not to think of it now though...aaaaand relax!

I'll probably be back soon with a mixture of good and bad news (I think I'll do okay in psychology, biology and general studies. My predictions are A in psychology, B in biology, B in general studies and D in chemistry. I'll let you know what happens there!)

:)