creating a beautiful day..

Although I've been struggling quite a bit with food and exercise-related things the past couple of weeks, I had an absolutely LOVELY bonfire weekend at home last weekend: I saw my church family, got to lead worship again, bought a cute new onesie, had a breakfast date with my mum, saw my parents and had a mini-induction to the job I'll be doing at christmas when I'm home (cleaning the golf club). It was beautiful:

However, I ate so much. It probably logically was a really normal amount, but because of the way I've been eating at uni lately (having smaller meals more frequently each day and tending to have the 'safe' option and do it all myself), it was really scary to have 'big' meals with a starter and main course with side dishes etc - and to not be in control of preparing them. I was so caught up in the emotion of seeing everyone that I managed fine at the time, but had a bit of a panic on the train home and have been struggling more since...

But this morning I decided I was going to create a beautiful day.

I don't like Thursdays. We have a symposium most Thursday mornings (essentially 4 lectures back to back without a break), and today we even had an extra lecture scheduled for after the symposium: 9am-1pm in a lecture theatre hearing about cancer isn't the most fun, but this morning I made the conscious decision to make today a good one. How?

1) I prayed. My alarm was set for early for extra time but I pressed snooze too much (silly dozy Anna is a bit selfish with her sleep apparently!) and only managed to get up about 15 minutes early. But I had a flick through my Bible and took the time to commit the day to God in prayer; to tell Him that I couldn't do it in my own strength but that I wanted to glorify Him today - and would He be able to help me? 

2) I made a wholesome, healthy breakfast the night before. No decision anxiety required; no portion panic to begin the day - I just took my glass of muesli and yummy additions out of the fridge and sat down to eat it.

3) I reminded myself of what I was doing. As I sat in lecture, I had a verse that had been stalking me on social networking this morning (think Romans 12:12 was the youversion verse of the day!) written on my hand during the lectures as a constant reminder...

...and the results were brilliant! I was able to listen and stay pretty much focused the whole way through the (slightly painful) morning of lectures - which is unheard of for me in a symposium! Usually I've given up trying to understand it an hour in!

also, little unexpected blessings made me happy - Alice returned to me my orange pen I thought I'd lost. Not a big deal to most people, but I love my colour schemes (to a worryingly OCD extent, but that's a different story) so it got rid of some anxiety that's been floating around my notes for the past week or so.

I'm still messing up, of course. Today I've done lots of things I probably shouldn't - calorie counting, body checking and loads more things. But I'm pretty happy with how the day's going: I feel like I've created it beautifully within my constraints: God is good and I am so blessed.

Autumn blessings and cutting through ribs

Wow, things have changed a lot since my last post!

I've properly decided on my church here - I'm going to St Peter's, which is the HTB plant...initially I felt really guilty about doing the standard 'going to an amazing megachurch' thing, but I felt so drawn to it and actually I've realized it's not like that at all. It's not too big, very loving and the vision it has for serving the community is so good - and, although the worship and teaching is outstanding, I don't feel like I'm just 'taking in' as opposed to serving as well. On a Sunday morning I've started working with the 0-1 year olds - the service starts with kids' songs and then the parents drop their children at their various groups so they can enjoy the service without worrying:it's quite busy given that most of the babies are 6 months or younger! They're ridiculously cute though, and I'm getting reused to the attractiveness of baby sick and changing nappies! 

Then on Sunday evenings we have the student service - it's great and I love the worship! It's so nice to be regularly worshipping without the pressure of leading and I find it's really easy for me to connect with God there. I've also made some amazing friends at church and I'm already really close to one girl in particular. Oh, we also have team nights on a Tuesday evening which are pretty much small groups for students...still getting used to being in the small groups as opposed to leading them (and I'm still working on being brave enough to add to the discussion much!) but it's great for fellowship and we have worship and prayer times as well.

I'm actually feeling really close to God at the moment  - I got a book from a second hand stall this weekend and I'm starting the day using it as a prayer tool and to focus me which is amazing so far..

In terms of uni, things are still going generally well. It's quite up and down - some days I sit in lectures thinking 'oh my goodness, why am I here? I don't have a clue what this lecturer's even talking about!' but then other days I feel really engaged and surprisingly capable...I think that's probably what it's like for everyone so I'm not too worried! I had an interesting dissection session on Friday - I was much more comfortable with the whole thing than the first session, and managed to improve my perspective with the fact that I was cutting into somebody (the first time I was so scared of doing it wrong and damaging the cadaver that I didn't want to try and just watched for a lot of it). It actually made me feel so close to God - we opened up the thoracic cage and looked at all the intercostal muscles and tissues/blood vessels and it was quite hard to imagine how anyone who was seeing all of that could believe that it had all just been created through accidental evolution! I have to admit though that remembering the noise cutting through a rib made still makes me shudder: don't think I'll be heading for orthopaedic surgery anytime soon...

 I'm quite overwhelmed by work at the moment in terms of keeping on top of lecture notes and essays etc but I'm managing to maintain an A in everything we've had marked so far which is a good sign. Last night was horrible though - I got really panicky and had to go for a walk to calm down - but the fact that I was able to know when to stop trying to work and to take time out is a positive sign in itself...

 

Socially, I'm managing to get the balance with flatmates/coursemates/church friends as far as I can tell - so many lovely people here and I'm enjoying getting to know them all. I'm going to Medical CU on Monday evenings which is like a Bible study where we can connect with other Christian medics (and get tips from those who are further on in the course!), and girls' football on Friday nights, so I've met lots of new people through those as well.

 

 It was also so amazing to have Maddy and Shereen staying this weekend - I took them on a tour of Brighton and to a restaurant I discovered and love (an organic buffet place with lots of delicious vegetables and different salads/meat dishes) and we had nice chilled-out nights in catching up etc. They came to church with me on Sunday morning and absolutely loved it so it made me even more certain of my choice!

In terms of food, things have been a bit mixed lately, but I'm trying to be sensible with it all. I managed to dodge getting my weight and height measured when I registered with the GP here as well, although it was very tempting to 'have to find out' (I just estimated on the form and ticked a box saying it was totally recent and accurate, which was a bit of a white lie but the right decision I think :p). I'm also very blessed in that both of the other girls in my flat eat very substantial meals and happily snack on things like ice cream and pizza - I know I'd find it a lot harder if I felt like I was eating more than other people (although I am trying not to compare things like that) so I'm so thankful for their relaxed attitude to food. Joanna, who I've got really close to at church, also now knows that I have some issues with food and things (not really details, but we're comfortable enough with each other to be honest about struggles which is good!) which is a big step in terms of some accountability and support etc. It's so nice having a bit of back up at church when I want to turn down food I'm not comfortable with because St Peter's is super keen on morning service pastries and evening service pizza and chocolate...and it's a win/win situation for the two of us because Jo is more than happy to eat what I don't want! So it's been quite hard over the past few weeks but it's amazing to see how blessed I am by the people around me even in the way they model a healthier attitude to eating. I just need to stay motivated and try not to restrict because I find it so tempting when I'm so in control of my meals!
 

I love my flat!:

 

humbled again...

This weekend has been mixed,  but good! On Friday night, we went out as a flat and it was SO much fun – we really got to know each other better and had lots of fun.

 Today was fairly disastrous in some ways – I went to a church where I didn’t really feel I fitted in (CCK – it was a great church, but just not right for me) this morning, then got hopelessly lost afterwards and ended up wandering in the freezing cold rain looking for a bus…so arrived home cold, wet and not feeling well. I had a (pretty restrictive) lunch, then purged a while later and spent way too long indulging my negative thought patterns.

However, I really enjoyed the evening service at St Peters* and it was lovely to feel more at home there…the worship was amazing and the teaching was also so valuable. However, I knew we were having pizza as students after the service so anxiety surrounding that meant I wasn’t fully present in a lot of the service – which made me so frustrated with myself and caused a bit of a vicious cycle.

When I got home though was when my day was really made – my flatmates are all atheists and pretty cynical about my faith (not in a horrible way – they’re just not particularly open to it), but we were chatting this evening and somehow got onto the topic of worship…and I played them some Soul Survivor and Hillsong to show them how my worship music actually is. They were SO surprised and thought it was amazing – their faces when I put on ‘we are the free’ were priceless. Honestly, I feel like it made a big impression on them.  They even said they’d like to come to church with me sometime!

God is so good. He’s powerful; and works through our bad days and messy moments to find ways for us to reach other people with His love. I’m so humbled by each different way He uses me and works in my life. 

* The whole ‘student group’ thing at churches here makes me a bit uncomfortable to be honest… It might just be because there is such a huge student population in Brighton, and because I’m not used to being in a city like that, but the way things work here seems to be that students go to the evening services and families go to the morning  - when I’ve been to churches in the morning I’ve felt very much shepherded towards the evening….

I don’t know if I’m just being all idealistic, but my view of what church is, is people of all ages, in all walks of life coming together in worship to our one God. I get that different groups of people will be suited to different times but segregating off the students from the families etc feels a bit wrong for me…  I’m still working out what I think – but church here is awesome!

endings vs. beginnnings

there have been lots of endings lately....nights at the beach with our 'Sunday night small groups' youth; last team meeting

but there have also been new beginnings! Meeting Matty's family for the first time last week, when we drove to Stockton-on-Tees to spend time with the people he knows and loves from back home. It was quite a nerve-racking experience but went really well, and we had a lovely day. Also, I've been preparing for uni; getting back into running and enjoying weather that suggests that Summer might actually be on its way!

The combination of endings and beginnings everywhere is leaving me a little uncertain and confused over whether or not I like changes like this...I'm not sure I like endings but new beginnings and all their potential excite me so much.

I get a little bit impatient - wanting to cling to everything of my present and take every last drip of opportunity in the parts of my life I love so much now; but at the same time feeling the need to dive headfirst into the future. But I actually love that combination....it's frustrating at times but just shows me how blessed I really am!

Things aren't always easy, but I am blessed. There's no doubt about that...

sunshine and Brighton

I've just got back from a really good run with Georgie on a beautiful day... We set off the afternoon in the glorious March sunshine and ran through the woods. After a couple of times around the millennium green, we stopped to lie on a bench and take in how beautiful the weather was…

…then we set off and ran some more, then got to a bank where Georgie announced she wanted to do a handstand into a crab…so we stopped amongst the daffodils at the side of a road and started trying it. It was spontaneous and fun; choosing inspiration over function… Much hilarity followed when I decided to try to copy her and flew through the air in ‘the fastest handstand ever’ until I landed unceremoniously flat on my back in the grass. But it was one of those moments I felt fully present, full of joy and just contented. I wasn’t worried about my body or weight or anything – I was just enjoying the Spring sunshine and some acrobatics. These moments are such a big recovery motivator...

This week's recovery challenge from Amy was very, very scary: I had to tell my parents about my ED relapse. They're brilliant parents and would always support me, but I have a tendency to want to protect them, and was completely desperate not to let them know I was struggling again.

I spent days agonising over how to do it and doubting I actually could. Thinking about it logically, Tuesday was the best day to leave them a letter. Knowing that wasn't too much of a comfort though, and I texted Amy saying I couldn't do it several times... Then I found my courage and typed out a confession, leaving it on the hall table before escaping in my car and driving for hours by myself around Northwich. I was so overwhelmed that all I could do was park in a leisure centre car park (late night floodlit football games were going on) and sit in my car, listening to music and crying, trying over and over to surrender how hard this was.


On Thursday, my Mum and I headed down to Brighton to look at the university accommodation and stay with an old friend of hers for 3 days. It was a good trip - a chance to spend some time with mum who I've barely seen lately.


However, it was also a BIG challenge. Food was completely out of my control and I was away from many of my usual coping mechanisms and support system, so it was a real battle at times. I kept a detailed account of food, thoughts and feelings which really helped me to process and not get as overwhelmed as I might otherwise have done...it was hard but I got through.

So at the minute I'm continuing to work through it. Some days are very hard and some are slightly easier, but things are starting to feel better... This quote is absolutely amazing:
'Our weakness is one of our greatest excuses. We may be weak, but God is strong, and He is willing to be our strength' - Joyce Meyer <3

April showers?

The time since I last posted has gone so quickly! In fact, I really can't believe how much 2011 is flying by....as of today I only have 10 days left in college...ever. I also got another offer from Leicester! 2 offers for medicne is 2 more than I expected :D.


Spring is most definitely here now - the daffodils have been blooming for a while now and we've had some glorious blue skies and fluffy white clouds to enjoy. It makes college so much more bearable when we can sit on the grass in the sun and chat at lunchtimes and on frees, and somehow the sun puts everyone in much better moods!




But it's also been quite a hard few weeks. The doctor's visit I mentioned in the last post was related to the fact I'd been still really struggling with food and everything, and having dizzy spells a lot of the time. The doctor said it was all stress-related, and recommended eating "little and often" rather than in big meals which I wouldn't be able to manage as easily, however I've started having panic attacks when I eat too much or overthink eating which complicates things...



But I know God's got it all in His hands, and everything's going to be okay. I have the most amazingly supportive friends, and as Maddy said a few days ago, "I can't wait for Summer when you're better and we can hang out and eat ice cream, drink cider and laugh about everything" :).

And I've had some fun times too: making pink pancakes at butterflies (as a belated pancake day celebration)and having a crazy disposable barbeque night with maddy and lexie, when we drank a lot of pimms out of a bowl and lay in hoodies looking at the stars with our feet warming on the campfire :D.




Tomorrow night I've got Matt's 18th and I'm so looking forward to it: it'll be a mixture of church friends, college friends and old school friends all together so will be lovely! I'm also off to Alton Towers with Georgie on Tuesday so I'm hopefully going to have a more exciting and fun-filled blog post next time! :D
<3

OFFER!

I'm still in shock I think, but yesterday I got an offer from BSMS to study Medicine in September 2012! Yesterday I went round to Maddy's before Butterflies and checked my emails....I was surprised to find I had one from UCAS saying 'something has changed on track'! Then came a tense few minutes while I loaded UCAS track to see if it was an offer or a rejection.



And there it was! I need to get either AAA or A*AB (although biology and chemistry both have to be As, annoyingly, or I could get A* in psychology and B in chemistry...). It's not really sunk in yet and I'm still not totally sure about Medicine being the right path, so I'm going to pray about it and see what happens but YAY! :D

Aside from the good news, this week's been very hard so far...tomorrow I have the doctor's and I'm so scared but will explain another time. <3

Thankful

The things I had planned did indeed fill me up again :)

My visit to Malmesbury was nice: there's something very complete about going to the pub and having a couple of drinks with the people you went to pre-school with, even if I did get told I was "so Northern my middle name should be 'hotpot'". I also discovered that cider makes me think of New Year and I physically can't drink it without feeling ill....so that might be a lifelong cider taste aversion I created!




Hannah and I went to a spa with our mums which was lovely, and I bought some jeans that actually fit! Well done New Look!


I also attempted to give blood the day after we got back from Malmesbury, which went quite impressively wrong! I arrived and everything seemed fine until it came to actually having the needle put in - I'm not at all needle phobic so it wasn't to do with that, but apparently I have very small veins and they struggled to find one. Once they managed to get it in (unpleasant experience with more than one person attempting), all seemed okay except I started to feel really ill. They came over and lay me down and, after weighing me, said it was because I was underweight to give blood and to come back in a few years when I'd put on weight and my veins had grown! And they couldn't even use the 350ml of blood they managed to get out of my poor little vein because it wasn't a full bag....bad times!
At least I had an impressive dressing, which Maddy promptly decided to graffiti:


On the Tuesday after we got back, Mum had her operation. It went well and she was able to come home the same day, which none of us expected. They took some lymph nodes to test to see if the cancer has spread and results came back yesterday - thankfully, it hasn't spread :). However, it's more aggressive than they initially thought so she'll have to have lots of chemo etc.
But the main thing is that it hasn't spread - this is why I'm thankful today.


Another reason I'm thankful this week is that BSMS seem to have changed their mind about me!! On Wednesday I went to check my emails and found an email from BSMS inviting me to interview on Saturday 26th February! I was so shocked, and don't think it's sunk in yet still - I wasn't even happy, just sat at the computer in disbelief.
I still don't know whether I even want to do medicine any more, so it's all confusing still. However, I'm trusting in my God :). I know He'll make everything work okay, so I'm just going to work my hardest and do my best to muddle through in my overly human way. A further reason to be thankful - it's okay that I'm human, flawed, weak. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, it says "for when I am weak, You are strong" - God's strong enough for both of us and I just have to do my best. In a Kari Jobe song I love, the lyrics are "I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness" and I think that's pretty amazing!

It's now officially half term - later on, Maddy's coming over so we can sort out packing the car for ABERSOCHHH! I actually cannot wait for this holiday - it's going to be amazing. I'm going to drink a little bit, but ultimately be the responsible one because I need to look after the others. I'm so looking forward to it all though, my first proper holiday with friends and without parents :D

I'm off to pack now :) xxxx

Hello, 2011!

2010 is over, and it's now 8 days into 2011. I've been thinking a lot about 2010 in these few days about the ways in which I've changed or accomplished things so decided to make a list of 10 things that happened (in no particular order) - because 2010 was definitely a beautiful year!


In 2010, I:

1) Did 2 sets of exams and came out with 4As and an A*
2) Sat my UKCAT and got the best score I could have hoped for!
3) Got baptised <3
4) Had some amazing encounters with God
5) Found and got to know a lovely mentor
6) Started volunteering at WASC (Warrington Association for Special Children) and realised what a true blessing children with additional needs are.
7) Pushed through my fears and insecurities to become very involved in leading worship - led in the evenings and have sung at IMPACT! (and due to lead tomorrow morning!)
8) Lost enough weight to be happy with my body for the first time (not that I've ever been overweight, I just actually kind of like my figure now)
9) Laughed a LOT, cried a lot too, but the laughter is the most dominant!
10) Applied for medicine and got an interview for Leicester :)



Life is so, so beautiful and 2010 has definitely helped me to see a lot of its beauty. God has shown Himself to me a lot as well, and my faith has increased so much <3

INTERVIEW! :D

Today is one of the happiest days of my life! - this afternoon, I checked my emails on my phone in chemistry (don't judge me - it was just a revision lesson and I've been so anxious!) and I had one from Leicester University saying 'Interview Invitation 2010'! My heart started pounding and I tried to open it but my phone froze and I'd told my friend Mary so we were both staring at it in wonder! So I asked the teacher if I could check my emails in the library and he said if I was really quick (after I explained the situation) so I ran down to the library and there it was!
I stood reading the email, and was shaking and wanting to cry with happiness! Wow, God is *so* good :) thank you Lord!

I've decided that, if 'Lay it down' was my panicking waiting for an interview song, then 'Your love never fails' is my getting an interview song. I listened to it on the way home from the bus stop today, worshipping and grinning :D.

'The chasm was far too wide - I never thought I'd reach the other side, but Your love never fails'; 'You make all things work together for my good' <3 wow!



I'm a very happy girl at the moment! It's one of those moments that makes me think of my 'getting an interview' song - "there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning" :)

Romans 8:28 <3

Ebb and flow...

Wow, I can hardly believe it's already almost mid-December! The last couple of months have flown by at quite a scary rate!
Yesterday, the government passed the proposal to get rid of the cap on tuition fees, meaning that my gap year will cause my fees to double (or more!) and, to be honest, I feel betrayed by the decision after Nick Clegg promised to keep the fees 'low', but what can you do?! Still no university interviews, and at this point I doubt I'll get any before Christmas but I can deal with that. I know it doesn't mean it's all over so I'm working to stay positive... To be honest, it takes a lot of emotional strength when it feels like literally everyone else has offers, and medicine applicants almost all have interviews but it just takes patience, and I know that His grace is sufficient for my weaknesses and impatience.


Today was my secret santa lunch with my group of friends at college, so we all made packed lunches full of our randomly selected friend's favourite foods, added some cute gifts and decorated them. It was so lovely - lots of laughter and really got us all in the Christmas mood!


This was my beautifully decorated lunchbox from my (very creative!) friend, Jenna:



Tomorrow is the YP2 conference, then my lovely friend Charis is sleeping over before IMPACT! on Sunday - so I've got a very busy weekend ahead, but in a good way :)

I really do love life at the moment, however imperfect things might seem at the time <3

Laying it down

'Lay it Down', by Jaci Velasquez

Verse:
I've been looking till my eyes are tired of looking
Listening till my ears are numb from listening
Praying till my knees are sore from kneeling on the bedroom floor
I know that you know that my heart is aching
I'm running out of tears and my will is breaking
I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans,
Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

Chorus:
So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love would be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down.

Verse:
I've been walking through this world like I'm barely living
Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been digging
But You're pulling me out
I'm finally breathin' in the open air
Oh, This room may be dark but I'm finally seeing
There's a new ray of hope, and now I'm believing
That the past is past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now
Oh, cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

Chorus:
So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
Oh what more can I do,
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
You know Your love will be enough
I've gotta let it be, I've gotta let it go,
I've gotta lay it down
I've gotta lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down.

This song has been a great source of strength for me over the last couple of days - I've still not heard anything from any of my universities, and everyone I know who's also applying for medicine has at least one interview. It just makes me feel inadequate and a little bit unwanted - I got a really high UKCAT, straight As and was told my personal statement was really good, so what's wrong with me? All though the application process, I've been reminding myself that failure to get in anywhere doesn't mean that I wouldn't be a good doctor - just that God has a different plan for my life.



When I pray 'Your will be done', I mean it, even if it means I have to face rejection in the coming months - it's worth it to follow His path for my life and live it to the full, in the way that I can only with God's dreams and not just mine :) Yeah, it's hard. It hurts sometimes, and there are days like this when close friends get interviews at unis you applied to and you have to push down that sick feeling in your tummy and celebrate with them, because that's the way it's right to act. And when they say 'it'll be you soon' and keep asking if you're okay, you have to say 'yes', even when it's not totally true, because it's not fair to put that burden you have on them... Some evenings, like this one, I have to come home and cry a little with above song on, because you can't do so in front of anyone else. I just had to pretend to my parents that only a few people had got interviews because I didn't want them to see how close I am to failing them, but there's always an antidote to these things: one of those showers so hot they raise welts on your skin, and wash the tears off your face. After that, I'm not lying when I say I'm okay - I feel fresh and ready to pull together again.



All this uncertainty, all this worry and fear of failure, is so worth it. I know that underneath - God knows exactly what He's doing so I can place it all in His hands.

Beautiful life

It's time for an update! I've had a lovely half term holiday in Turkey and am now settling back into college...


(Hannah and I on a gulet cruise in Turkey - it was amazing!)

On the university front, I'm still playing the waiting game. The only thing I've heard from my unis are a couple of emails asking me if I want to change to 2011 entry (I've deferred until 2012 so I can have my gap year volunteering) because of the increasing fees. I've had to seriously think about it, because it could mean an extra £30,000 of debt to pay off, but honestly I feel that my gap year is more important to me at the moment so I'm risking the money!



College is good socially, because I've got properly settled back into my friendship group and now know lots of people in my lessons. All my subjects are noticably more challenging this year, particularly biology - I'm struggling a bit with the stuff we've recently done on photosynthesis and respiration... Hopefully it'll be okay once I've properly looked over it and got my head around it because it's worrying me a little how hard I'm finding it to understand!


Having been the worship leader at two evening services at church, singing more in the mornings and singing with the mic volume crazily high in front of everyone at music practice, I'm definitely growing in confidence with my singing and worship leading. I've had such an amazing positive response, though - so many people have told me I have a beautiful voice and I'm actually beginning to trust that I can really sing and it's not just everyone being nice! The hardest thing for me at the moment is probably the leading side now - telling people what to do etc, because it doesn't come particularly naturally to me so it's something I have to work on. Impact! has been really good recently, too, especially the one before last: cardboard praise, in which we had to write on cardboard the things that God had done in our lives and hold them up - it was SO amazing seeing all the things and it gives me shivers just thinking about it. Seeing those pieces of cardboard was so emotive and lifted my heart - worshipping after that was fab, seriously! :D



As of 6.11.10 (church bonfire which was so lovely!), I'm also going out with an amazing boy from church - Conor. He's so so lovely and sweet, a good Christian and also pretty hot! ;) It's early days but I can really imagine this relationship going somewhere and lasting a long time - I really trust him and feel like we know each other so well already :) I'm happy!





I've had a good month or so finding my balance with alcohol - it sounds silly but I really think I'm learning about my limits (and becoming less of a lightweight!). I got really drunk at the social, but sobered up at the perfect time to look after everyone else, and at a party this Friday I had some apple sourz with lemonade and dr pepper, and alternated them because I was going home and couldn't get drunk :). I think I've got the balance for the moment and this makes me happy :D




And just to show I've not grown out of my silly ways - today Maddy and I managed to miss the bus home from college today...while sitting at the bus stop! We suddenly realised everyone from our bus had gone but definitely didn't see it - blonde moments much?!! haha!

Life is still good - so good! Challenges might be coming academically, spiritually (I know I've been praying and reading my Bible less recently, and need to build it back up again!) and emotionally with all this uni stuff, but God is providing and I know I'm safe in His hands.
In the words of Shell Perris: "it's a beautiful life - there's so much to give, yes, I'm gonna live this beautiful life" :).
xxxxxxx